Hey folks…it’s been a good week! Another client got a job in her field of choice – woo hoooo!!! After many networking conversations, job interviews and some disappointments, the right situation came along. Persistence and patience paid off beautifully for this client and I wish the same for you, too. Its sounds so simple, but we all know it is not an easy process.
How often in the throes of frustration do we tell ourselves “I should do this” or “shouldn’t do that” as if we need to follow a particular book of rules, of should and should nots, that purports to guarantee us a successful outcome? As many of you know, the “book of rules” (which is all made up or dictated by past experience) is constantly changing in this climate of economic uncertainty and vulnerability. So, you may ask, “what guidelines can I depend on in order to be self-assured as I move forward in this market?”
First step: Take a look in the mirror. It all begins with you.
I want to share with you a scenario that occurred about two years ago. The learning still applies today which is why I am sharing this now. Read between the lines and see what kernels of wisdom you can garner for yourself:
My 15 year old daughter came to me and said, “I don’t like going to dance class anymore – it’s not fun the way it used to be; something has changed at the studio and I have changed too. I feel the classes have become too intense. I love yoga and want to do more of that. I also want to focus more on piano.” (She’d been a new piano student.) At first, my inner response (aka reaction) was “Oh no… I just paid thousands of dollars for the whole year of dance classes and worked hard to put together a complex carpool schedule.” My daughter has been dancing since she was 3 years old and seemed to be getting more dedicated to it in the past few years. This was the first time I was hearing anything negative about her dance classes. I knew she wasn’t planning to become a professional dancer, yet it was an activity in which she seemed to have deep pride.
I was both annoyed and proud all at once – how to reconcile those feelings? Once I calmed down, I realized something that was critically important here. It had little to do with dance classes and much more to do with a much larger lesson/life skill – this is the part that had me beaming with pride. My kid came to me with her truth and risked dealing with my reaction, including the possibility that I might tell her she would have to stick-it-out-its-been-paid-for. She followed her “true” book of rules vs. a “should” book of guidelines.
If a teenager can do it, so can you. Notice, without judgment, when you tell yourself that you should or should not take a particular course of action. The moment the word “should” comes into your thoughts, the chances are good that you could be heading in the wrong direction. It’s certainly worth a second look before you leap.
Fast forward 2 years later: my now 17 year old daughter loves her yoga practice, works part-time at the yoga studio and enjoys the community she has found there. She also misses dancing and is planning to take a class somewhere in the community. She has no regrets and neither do I!